and recently ive found my new-found pasttime

which is to sit down in a quiet corner of the coffee bean at paragon,
sipping my one and only loved espresso,
and just plain people-watch.

and preferably with my shades on so no one can recognise me.
because for some strange reason i dont like to acknowledge people i know when you're chilling out with just yourself.

sitting down there at that quiet corner people-watching somehow makes me think alot,
of strange things that i never once thought of before.

one of the strange things is when i try to figure myself out,
why is it that i like to order a single espresso and put in two sachets of sugar?

not many people like to drink espresso the way that i do,
my baby came a while later and upon taking a sip of my cup she made a face and look like she's gonna bleach anytime soon, "why is it so goddamn sweet?!"

and the more i sit there alone and sip my espresso bit by bit,
i realise the reason why.

its because i like the way how espresso is so bitter and yet when i put in two sachets of sugar it brings out a tinge of sweetness and at the same time, bitterness.

up till today i still dont know why whenever i head towards a coffee place,
i always only order single espresso and put in two sachets of sugar.
and i really dont know why i like it that way, i just do.

so sitting down there alone with the cup at one hand,
choosing songs on my ipod at the other hand,
and looking at the whole world revolve around me beneath those shades of mine has became my new past-time.

so dearest baby, i dont blame you at all for making me wait for you on that wednesday afternoon. (:

and i guess its just me,
the way i like to percieve things.

just like how i tore open the packet of kinder bueno among the huge bag of many many tidbits my girl bought for me,
i thought about how much i love to eat kinder surprise.

the fact that the kinder surprise chocolate itself isnt really that fantastic just shows that my desire for kinder surprises are the different different toys inside.

i look up at my transparent cupboard and i caught sight of the two long rows of kinder surprise toys i collected over the years and i start to think about it.

its been months since i last ate kinder surprise,
and i start to remember that feeling,
the same old feeling i always feel whenever i crack open a chocolate egg and take out the toy inside,
eager to see what sort of toy i got this time round.

i love the way surprises works,
the feeling of anticipation and eagerness,
the amazement of how high opening and discovering a surprise could make you.

but the only problem with kinder surprise,
is the way you open up so many boxes of them,
and soon you start to think to yourself that you're still gonna get back the same old toys you used to,
or you'll never find some cute one that you'll like.
and everytime i open a new box,
it never fails to make me dissappointed by the way i got another replica of the same old one i already have,
or a new one that looks just terrible.

and i look up at that two rows of kinder toys i have,
and i realise how i have replicas here and there,
and then i start to think,
maybe its because sometimes we put too much hope in things that it doesnt turn out the way you want or expect it to,
the dissappointment you face will be so much bigger.
because you brought yourself so high up into the air thinking things will just turn out fine,
and then you fall straight to the ground,
dusting dirt off yourself while laughing at yourself for expecting and putting in too much hope.

and then i start to think of another thing,
about the famous forest grump line,
"life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you'll get."

but then i think again,
why wont you know what you'll get?

you bought that box of chocolates,
its written on the cover,
its written at the bottom of the box,
its written all over what you're going to get.

so why wont you know?

it's because most of the time most of us here turn a blind eye to what we should have seen,
whether accidently or intentionally.

accidently in the sense that we're blinded by other factors,
and we stepped into trouble without knowing what the next step would be.

just like hotspur in king henry IV part I by william shakespeare,
he couldnt see through his uncle's (worcester) evil intentions,
and he unknowingly let worcester manipulate him.
using the fact that hotspur is rash and reckless,
worcester provoked his anger for the king,
and let him misunderstood that the king refused peace,
and the next thing you know we see prince hal,
the smart one killing hotspur in a battle,
in a bat of an eyelash.

was hotspur plain stupid?
or is worcester to be blamed for hotspur's entire downfall?

worcester is to be blamed for hotspur's downfall,
but hotspur has to be blamed for most his own death.

he stepped right in,
knowing that he should check everything twice before believing what the uncle says.
just like my last post,
"learn that not everyone can be trusted, no matter how sweet or nice they look."

he was unable to see through his uncle's evil intentions,
never once looking through all that misty cover and what the cover of the chocolate box actually says.

but if he looked carefully at that chocolate box forest grump gave him,
and on it says "POISONOUS" in bold and red ink,
would he still open up the box and taste one of those chocolates?

but sometimes though,
we intentionally turn a blind eye to everything that's infront of us.

we know that would happen,
many people around have been saying that the chocolate box is poisonous,
because they can see it from a third party view.
and if we sit down and think carefully,
slowly uncovering all the misty clouds infront of our eyes,
and we realise that the box says "POISONOUS" in bold and red ink,
would we still open up the box and taste those chocolates?

or are we still going to sit down there and step right into the mess,
spend days moaning and groaning about the shit that is happening,
all the while knowing that the box says "POISONOUS" and ignoring people's advices?